Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat, if I so much as hint that I want something the next morning it’s on my doorstep.” “That’s very nice about your Freddie”, says Gertrude. A cop pulls her over and says “ma’am, can I please see your license? It’s the wire around your neck – it makes people talk louder!“But with all due respect, when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it just can’t compare. ” She says “I’m sorry, officer, but I got it revoked two years ago for drunk driving.” His brow furrows and he straightens up. ” She pulls it out of the glove compartment and hands it to him. ” He bangs open the trunk of the car and flinches: but it was completely empty… ” The neighbors thought it was odd, but 93 year old Morton was dating again.In the past women of all ages up to about 45 prefer, on average, a man a few years older. Time magazine reports that when it comes to online dating, a woman is five times more likely to show interest in a man five years her junior than one who is five years older.
Many men in their 40s and 50s prefer women 10 to 20 years younger.Every morning as soon as I wake up he greets me with bacon and freshly brewed coffee. “Well, can I please see the registration of your car? The woman brandishes a finger at the first cop and says accusingly, “And I’ll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!! One Monday morning Morton woke up with a funny feeling that something important happened last night.Every lunch he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch, and every supper he brings me to his house for supper, he truly treats me like a queen.” “WELL! ” She says “I stole the car and I killed the driver; he’s in the trunk.” “Ma’am, DON’T MOVE, I’m calling for backup.” He mutters furiously into his walkie-talkie… “Of course, officer,” she smiles demurely and pulls out a license from her purse. ” After much nagging from his wife, Sam was visiting the audiologist. It was during breakfast, that Morton finally remembered what it was. But what she answered he just couldn’t seem to remember. “Hi Greta”, said Morton, “I have a funny question for you, do you remember last night when I proposed? photo credit: jesuslizrd Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons. “He just had his 105th birthday and plays golf and goes swimming each day! ” So there was this female business executive who was late for a meeting. So please revel in our hilarious collection of old people jokes. John looked at Rob and replied, “Did I say he wanted to?